Never Pee On A God
by Two High Girls
Summary: When Taichi gets drunk you never know wut will happen. X-X Prepare for the fic from the insane minds of the High Girls!!


NEVER PEE ON A GOD  
  
GG - Hiya! This is the result of getting high off tea. ^_^  
MM - And me drinking pure lemon juice...  
GG - XDD Well....o.o wut would u say it's 'bout? o.O do not be offended by anying....for instance....Taichi peeing on a god. (if he's urs...o.o)   
MM - Erm, well, dis storyt ish da first one written by me and the odd GG.. o.O I NEED MY GHETTO TEA!  
GG - XD beware all of the weak at heart! Now! *wants ghetto tea as well* O.O on wid da story!  
MM - *evil grin, and cheap thunder and lighting effects* MWHAHAHAHAHAAAA!! .. *couch choke, gag* Sorry, dis was all our budget could afford..  
  
NOW ON WITH THE ODD STORY!  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
  
"WHOOOO!! BOOZE!! BOOBS!! FUN!!" Taichi yelled as he chugged down another shotglass of brandy.   
  
"Taichi, I think you've had enough!" Yamato said as he pulled Taichi off the bar side.   
  
"I'll tell you when I've had enough, baby! Gimme a suga!!"   
  
"Taichi, you know I'm straight, now quit it!"   
  
"Oh, your no fun, hot stuff!!! I just want some pun tang!!"   
  
"Well, you ain't getting it here... Come on seriously.. It's getting late.."  
  
Yamato grabbed Taichi's arm and began stumbling to the door before being stopped by the manager.   
  
"Sirs.. You to are going to have to take a breath test..."   
  
Yamato sighed and grabbed Taichi, who was googling the manager.   
  
"Wow!! YOUR ALMOST AS HOT AS YAMA-CHAN!!!"   
  
When they reached the desk, the man pulled out a small little machine with a stick. He pulled out a few babywipes and cleaned it off. "Blondie first."   
  
Yamato groaned and put his mouth on the stick and blew. It showed him over the limit.   
  
"And your friend is obviously drunk.." He said pointing to Taichi.   
  
"YAMA!! GUESS HOW MANY BOOBS I SAW!!! ELEVEN!!!"  
  
The manager took a few steps away from Tai. "Walk home, you two." he growled.   
  
Yamato nodded his head and grabbed Taichi, who was trying to fondel the manager from the back ("LOOK YAMA! He has back boobs!" "Tai, those are his shoulder blades!" "BUT THEY'RE SO BIG!") and dragged him out of the bar. "You are completely embearising me..."   
  
"Glad to supply the love. Er...hey Yama..."   
  
Yamato slowly turned to Tai. "What now?"   
  
"Gotta walk the weasle."   
  
"Lovely...go right ahead."   
  
"Okay," Tai jerked away from Yamato. "I'll be right back!"   
  
"This from a guy who still owes me ten dollars from a bet over which was going to be bigger, E.T. or Krush Groove...." Yamato sighed.   
  
"Hey, f**k you, man, 'cause times gonna tell on that one!"  
  
Taichi walked around. "Good spot.. Hmm.. HAH!! That old shrine, no one will see me there! He he! I knew I should've spotted after the 3 Bloody Marys..."  
  
A Few minutes later, Taichi walked out of the bushes to Yamato, who was leaning against a phone pole. "I'm done.. Let's go. I swear to go I was this close to having a snake bit my penis..." Taichi said showing the distance with his finger and thumb,   
  
"I guess that's interesting to know.. Come On rummy, let's get you home... Your making me sick with your breath.."   
  
"Awe, you know you want me!"   
  
"Shut up, asshole..."  
  
"Wow, now we have pet names? Hmm...lemmie think of one." Taichi smiled, slowly walking up to Yamato who's face had contored into disgust at the fact that Taichi hadn't zipped up his pants. "I'm asshole so you should be.....hotass"   
  
"I DON'T WANNA BE HOTASS!"   
  
At that point old woman walked by, holding a childs hand. She gasped and ran off, the child being dragged on the ground.   
  
Yamato watched as the child's head hit a rock before he turned back to Tai who had interested himself in a tree.   
  
"What the hell are you doing now?"   
  
"I heard a voice, hotass. I dunno where it came from."   
  
"Great...now the idiot is hearing things. Next he's going to vomit and then pass out in it..."   
  
"JESUS! Hotass! You wont beleive it! It just said I have sinned and shall be punished! 'Thow shall not piss on our god...now you shall pay' Gosh...you try and releive yourself some some disembodied voices start to attack you."   
  
Yamato's eyes widened. "YOU PISSED ON A SHRINE?!"   
  
"He was so cool looking! His big 'ol stomach made it all trickle down in little zig zags and..."   
  
"Dumbass!"   
  
"That's asshole to you, hotass."   
  
"Argh..."   
  
Yamato groaned and began walking towards Taichi's apartment. "So, how do you think you'll be punished?"   
  
"I don't know, Hotass... I don't know.."   
  
"QUICK CALLING ME THAT!!"   
  
"No!" Taichi grinned and pinched Yamato's butt. "Shit head..."  
  
"NO!! I'M ASSHOLE!!"   
  
Yamato stopped and pointed at Taichi's apartment building, "LEAVE!!! NOW!!"   
  
"Fine, I don't like you anyway.. Hey, are we still going to see that movie tommorrow?"   
  
"I guess, if you don't have hang over.."   
  
"Beautiful..."  
  
Taichi slowly climbed up the stairs to his apartment, tripping every other step.   
  
Yamato watched as he knocked on a random door. "WHat the hell..."   
  
"Hi there. I'm Taichi Yaghetto...get it....I live in the ghetto."   
  
The person at the door, whom Yamato couldn't see made a groaning noise. "HUNNY! IT'S ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE DRUNKEN BUMS FROM THE GHETTO! Here...take this."   
  
Yamato stepped back, trying to see what the person was giving him.   
  
The door slammed and Taichi walked over ot the railing from the second floor. "Hey, hotass! That guy just gave me twenty bucks! Let's go get wasted!"   
  
"YOU ALREADY ARE!"  
  
"Oh and guess what! He had back boobs too!"   
  
Yamato slapped his hand to his face. "Punish him....punish him now."   
  
Taichi grinned gleefully and began singing rather loudly "THERE WAS A MAN!!!!!! WHO HAD A GOAT!!! HE LOVED THAT GOAT!!!! INDEED HE DID!!!"   
  
Yamato groaned softly and yelled "Taichi! Go to bed!!!"   
  
"THERE WAS A MAN!! WHO HAD A GOAT!!! HE LOVED THAT GOOOOOOOOOAAAAT!!! JUST LIKE A KID!!!"   
  
That's when Mr. Yagami opened the door to the apartment, "Taichi? What are you going?"   
  
"Hey dad! You got back boobs!!! Hey! You know what I just realized? Yagami backards is 'I'm A Gay'!!! HE HE!!"  
  
"AH, DAMNIT, TAICHI! YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN!" Mr.Yagami yelled, shaking his fist at Taichi.   
  
"This happens often?" Yamato asked himself, quietly.   
  
"HEY, DAD! CAN HOTASS SPEND THE NIGHT?!"   
  
"WHAT?!?!?" Yamato's eyes widened with a shocked look. (O_O) "HE THOUGHT OF THE NAME, SIR! IT'S WASN'T MY FAULT!"   
  
"WHat is the whole...back boobs sh*t?"   
  
"A manager at the bar we went to! He ahd back boobs! If you played porn on his back it would be like..3D! Oh, and I'm going to be punished for peeing on a shrine to someone's god..."   
  
"DAMNIT TAICHI! EVERY WEEK THIS HAPPENS!"   
  
"Hey! No it doesn't! LAST week I didn't pee on a god..see...see? huh huh?"   
  
Yamato sighed. "Drunken bum...."  
  
"Get inside Taichi!! Erm, 'Hotass' can't spend the night, and tommorrow, your going to go back to that shrine and tell the keeper your sorry for peeing on his God, do you understand me?!"  
  
"Whoa!! Da man is tellin' me what to do!! THE FUZZ!!"   
  
"Get the hell inside!!!"   
  
"Fine! I'll just order something off the porn channel... Mmm... Cheese crackers..."   
  
"What in the..?"   
  
"CHEESE CRACKERS!!!!!"   
  
"Get inside Taichi, or no more porno movies, or booze."   
  
"Fine!! I'll just do that!!! Just to get you mad! I'll go inside and go to bed! Get a good night sleep!"   
  
"Fine, would bother me.."   
  
"We'll see about that" Taichi yelled as he marched inside to his room. "Show that bastard.."  
  
****TO BE CONTINUED**** 


End file.
